The Earl of Rothshire has decided to leave Caldecott manor and find his son, Albert. His plans to ride his surviving horse, Willow, to London have derailed and the only other way to get there is to venture forth in a newfangled horseless carriage. Saffy insists on accompanying him, and together they make their way through the local villages encountering fights with undead and...the living.
I read The Caldecott Chronicles No. 1 by R.G. Bullet a few months ago (you can read my review here). I loved it. It was hilarious and a quick read and just completely fun to go through. Excerpt No. 2 did not disappoint.
Saffy and the Earl ("Thirty-two" as she calls him) have set off from Caldecott in search of 32's son. They've left behind Willow, who is not feeling 100% and instead are moving along in the Daimler, the "horseless carriage" with the crank on the back to get it running.
They trade with some friends (who also promise to give them a Border Collie puppy in a few weeks once it's been weaned) and secure care for Willow before heading on their way. Equipped with the Purdey and the Churchill they drive off, trying to pick through the overgrowth of hedges and the clutter of debris over the old roads.
They battle the undead (again, the word Zombies is NEVER mentioned) and even other survivors in their efforts to make it to Albert. Will they finally make it to him?
*
Book 2 was just as hilarious as book one.
IE.
"I won't elaborate the truth, my stomach is upset from all these eggs I've been scoffing. My system is baulking, and I have awful flatulence. Saffy only adds to my discomfort - every time I break wind she holds her nose, waves her hand and starts laughing. It's really insufferable behavior, and I fail to see the humour in it. All the years in the Gentleman's room and I don't think one of us laughed when anyone passed gas."
And:
"We studied them through the diamond pattern of the leaded window. The woman was scantily clad in only a bloodied apron. Her head drooped forward until it nearly touched her chest. Her hair was disheveled, and a large black cloud of flies followed her every move. For some reason she clung to a mop, which she dragged behind her in the grass. The other one was quite obviously male; he had no clothes on whatsoever. But he did wear a sizeable wound across his chest, and he plodded about pulling at it and moaning. Lord knows what they were up to before they turned green."
Ok, so maybe I have a weird sense of humor. But the book is full of stuff like this. Completely full of it. It's also, in my humble opinion, WAY more gory and grotesque than book one. Perhaps I'm just not remembering it right though. I think the fact that it was so much more descriptive and gross made it just that much better.
I also liked, again, how Zombies are never mentioned. They're called things like Mr. and Mrs. Beastly, the beast, the undead (which obviously isn't uncommon, but still), brutes, stumblers.... all kinds of different things.
I want to say that this one seemed shorter than the first, but that doesn't take away from the story in the least bit. It was full of action and suspense (and like I said, plenty of gore). It's full of light-hearted humor despite the deadly and dangerous circumstances. Saffy and Thirty-two definitely get a surprise there at the end that you'll find incredibly disturbing. But you'll have to read it to see if they come out alright in the end!
This book is a definite must read for Zombie fans. Fans of things like The Walking Dead or Humanity Scar. I highly recommend it!
